this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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