Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
