Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
