By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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