Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
