Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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