I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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