i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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