Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
