I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
