i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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