But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
