No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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