her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize