idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize