i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
