OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
