butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
