She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
