just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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