So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize