Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
