I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
