so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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