I think my vagina is haunted
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
