What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
