yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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