I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Randomize
