you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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