I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize