Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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