if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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