I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I supernannyed him into submission
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
