Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
