question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize