If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
