think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
