Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
