I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
