Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize