I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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