Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I AM VODKA MAN
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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