she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
