we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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