You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
