ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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