What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
