It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
