At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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