Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
