Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize