he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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