what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
