where am i from again
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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