After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
