i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
