I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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