I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
