Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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