Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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