But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
