Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's rum buckets o'clock
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
