i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
