It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
