ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
