Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
