I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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