also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
