I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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