We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
