You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Green mimosas i think yes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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