My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
